So Nick has been returned to his home. I'm a bit heartbroken and I miss him daily. Hopefully that will fade with time. Someone implied that people only let themselves hurt because they let their emotions rule them. If that's true, then I guess I admit to being utterly depressed on this issue and I don't give a damn. AS long as it doesn't interfere with my daily life, I think I'm allowed to feel as shitty as I want to feel. It's not like I'm expecting sympathy for any of it.

Justin, my last ex, has appeared again, just as I thought he would. His mother called me and I deigned to speak with him. IMO, he's off his rocker. I don't have to like him. I don't want to sleep with him. I don't even want to use his presence to salve my deep lonliness. I never missed him this whole time. You think that would mean it was obvious I had no emotion for him. I admit to my weakness of secretly liking the attention that someone determined to win my affection brings, but I will also state that I won't allow this weakness to bring him back into my life. I'm completely in love with someone who doesn't return the feeling. To be with anyone else right now seems completely unnatural to me and my emotions. When I orignally moved here, I had meant to stay single. I wasn't strong enough to be that way, and Justin happened.
But now... now, I think I'm strong enough. I really do. Because although I"m lonely I don't crave the attention of any random male to make me feel better. I'm sort of fine with being lonely. Maybe I'm growing up? who knows.

I'm going to be moving by the end of the month into a rent house. It has washer/dryer hookup (hell yeah, I can do my own laundry without leaving the building!). It's 2 bedroom with a carport. and it has a good sized yard for my dogs (which I can finally move up here to be with me!) and I can garden in it  !!! so starting next month, I can play music as loud as I want, jump on the floor with no complaints from others, have my dogs to come home to every day, and putter in a garden like the little old lady I am!! 3 cheers for my luck!! ^^ best thing is that it's actually less rent than this apartment by 50 bucks a month.

Work is going ok. haven't gotten in trouble for a while and my probation on call is ending next week. This won't tempt me to go utterly crazy with call, however, as I haven't noticed that major amount of difference in pay actually. maybe a little over 100 dollars, but I can make my budget fit that lack and actually get some sleep for a change. I think... I was making work the center of my world too much and it was leaving my self very empty... I need to finish up this semester and focus on my hobbies. I've aimed to become happier and increase my own self worth for a real long time now and focusing on work as I have has taken away from that. Getting into bad relationships distracts me as well... I want to love myself and be happy. I don't need or even want another person in my life to accomplish that.

Speaking of school, I'm upset because I won't be graduating this semester as I had thought. Due to mistakes made on the side of my advisors, and my own lack of attention, I have too many electives and not enough core requirements on my record. So I'll be either taking a summer course or finishing up a class in the fall. This frustrates me because I might be entering a bachelors program for sonography this fall and I don't want to be distracted by extraneous classes.

Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm only 21. Perhaps I've accomplished a lot for that age. I do have my own place, don't need a roomate to help with bills. I have a new car that no one had to co sign with me for. A good paying job even in this bad economy (they increased my wages by 2 dollars, if you can believe it, this month.) I have goals that will only increase my earning potential. I'm not pregnant, have no children, and have no personal entanglements with anyone that would bring me down. (well, on second thought I think of my mother, but one can only try when it comes to that haha). Yet I am still unsatisfied with my progress. Like I should have done more by now. anybody have that feeling?

anyways, I guess that is all on my mind right now.

tootles,

Emily

"Being close to the one you love is one of the privileges of being a friend."
--off of Junjo Romantica

There is posession and then there is love. Love is loving them whether they love you or not. Whether they're with you or not. Love is being happy even when the one you love is in love with someone else-- because they're happy. To feel pain at not being with them the way YOU want is to be selfish. Is to let the weakness of your soul show and allow jealousy to take home in your heart.

When I truly fall in love it is forever. I have now loved twice and I love them both still. When I pass from this life, I never want it to be said that I could not share my heart, my love. I will always believe that it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. To love is to know you're alive and know that there can be hope for a future. Isn't that the true nature of humanity?

~ Emily
 

Tomorrow my Spring of '09 online classes begin  and I realize that I have accomplished nothing over the school break yet again. I had some sort of plan to start/finish some writing and where did that go? I feel as if I was busy and yet I recall nothing of importance actually happening. That ever happen to any of you?

I do recall some good fun playing card games and being my rediculous self a few times. I tried more than a sip of alcohol for the first time. I am now a fan of Cherry Wine mixed half and half with strong Black Cherry Kool Aid. Weird Mix? But darn, it tastes pretty good to me.

dump 1 packet of Black Cherry Kool Aid in a cup
Fill the empty packet with water 3 times and add to kool aid
1/4 cup sugar (maybe a little more if that's too tart for you)
at that point, you probably have about half a glass of kool aid
Fill the other half of the glass with the Cherry Wine

Good to go ^^

Unfortunately, I was on call New Years Eve so I was not allowed to imbibe. So my first weekend I had off, I was determined to get drunk for the first time.

Commence Jan 9th

I took:
3 Rasberry Shots
1 yager shot (that stuff is terrible and what it leaves on the cup makes you wonder what the hell they put in it...)
2 shot of Rasberry Rum
3 shots of Tequila Rose
half a cup of my Cherry Wine Mix.

At that point my stomach was full as hell and the only effects were that I felt utterly exhausted. by 11 that night, I gave up waiting for that mythical "buzz" let alone being drunk. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 3 am calling "Bull Shit" on all alcohol.

Good Effects: I was really relaxed and very willing for good times to roll

Bad Effects: at the beginning of every drinking session, alcohol causes severe cramping in my pelvic muscles(think period cramps, ladies) and legs. If I drink on an empty stomach, those cramps are pretty much all over my body and worse. It only lasts about 10-15 minutes. Also, the stuff relaxes me to the point that I could go right to bed within an hour of a drink. So if the "good times" don't roll, it's bed time for Emily.

if I drank stuff that was stronger, perhaps I could eventually accomplish a "drunk" status. I don't exactly want to BE drunk but everyone tells me its always so great and to shut them up I tried my best. I'm just not willing to try anything stronger than 35% (even that tastes terrible.) so I thought I could make up for strength with quantity-  with no luck.

Conclusion: I'm not aiming for drunk anymore although I shall continue to enjoy my wine (weak thing that it is at a whopping 9% alcohol.) and perhaps that will be the cure for the insomnia I sometimes have. And the fears I always had that if I started drinking that my family history of abuse would kick in and that I'd become an alcoholic has finally been put to rest. In the end, most alcohol tastes like crap. Ice Cream remains my drug of choice to abuse. LOL

School:

So school is up again tomorrow. I'm only part time this semester because I only needed two more classes to get my Associates. So Yippee Skippee.

By the end of May, Emily A. Arbaugh will have an Associates in Applied Science and Technology.

What does Emily Win? Only the ability to take Bachelor's level classes. an Associates means little anymore in the world of College. It's like you say to someone, "I have an Associates!" and they say, "And?" *rolls eyes*

My plans for the next college I'm going to: I want to get a Bachelors in Sonography so I can be an official Ultrasound tech with all the proper training.

Good: Ultrasound is not as rampant as X-ray techs so there is a definate need for them all over the US. My dreams of traveling would be easy to realize. Plus, amazingly enough, although Ultrasound is stressful, the more experience and knowledge I gain in it, the more I enjoy it BETTER than X-ray.

Bad: you have to apply a YEAR IN ADVANCE. if I apply this year, and am accepted, I don't get in till Fall of 2010. Why is this bad? Well, what the heck am I supposed to do for Fall 2009 and Spring 2010? Also, that would mean that I'd either move back to Tulsa and bide my time, or just stay here another year.

Complicated choices. I hate moving around and if I stay here where I'm mostly mentally unhappy and bored out of my mind... I'm still getting experience in Ultrasound which will increase my chances for being accepted into Ultrasound School. (as well as being a little ahead of the rest of the class.) If I move back to Tulsa, I'll only be doing X-ray. But I'll have the family that stresses me out so much and actual things to DO. Like concerts, movies, clubs-- ya know. STUFF that Liberal doesn't have within 2 hours of it.

so blah. LOL I guess I could take some physics, biology, and chemistry at the local college for the next 2 semesters, but they don't go above Associates level stuff. So, other than giving myself a strong refresher on medical stuff, ( I've never taken Chemistry, probably should) it won't exactly help me accomplish anything....

Personal Life:

Well, 2 weeks ago a friend of mine from Oklahoma who is a bit down on his luck came up to stay with me for a month to help me out with being bored and lonely and to bide his own time until tax return time.

Honestly, he's the only RL friend who I would talk to about everything and anything with.

Honestly, I've been in love with him for over a year.

He doesn't return the feeling but the friendship is there nonetheless ^^ It doesn't really seem to matter if I'm with him or not, I'm still in love with him. When I moved here to Kansas, I didn't see or speak to him for 5 months. I still loved him.

I'm old enough to realize that I love him with the same strength I loved Robert, my first love from when I was 16. I fell in love with Robert in the Winter of 2004. I love him still, 5 years later, although I am no longer heartbroken about it. I think of him a few times a week. I am wise enough to realize that although Robert and I loved each other, we would never have worked out. I don't feel loss when I say that. it's a fact. ya know?

So I love Nick with all that is in me right now. I would do everything for him. I would give up dreams of Ultrasound School long enough to get him where he needs to be. I would co sign on a car for him. I have utter trust that he would never hurt me unless it was to help me. His inteligence, the way he talks about his kid, the way he laughs when I'm being rediculous, the way he acts when he's hyper with happiness. HE's passionate when he talks about ANYTHING. He's not going to talk about it unless it's interesting and you will be drawn in even if it's crap you have no idea what he's talking about. he plays like a kid-- horseplay and all. I'm serious enough for the both of us lol. And the thing is, I don't care if we're "together". His happiness makes me happy. his friendship is the most important thing in my life. If I could get rid of that annoying love thing that complicates things, the whole thing would be perfect haha.

Always in my life I have hoped for that friend to hang out with all the time. You're each others best friends. And each of you would watch the others back. When they had a problem with anything, they would be right over to help. The kind of friendships that lasts until you're so old you can't even talk anymore. I finally have it. I'm not giving it up, so there *grin*

Well, all this is long enough. Till next time folks!

Set adrift. . . the ocean is not something I mimic but as if the gods put it their to help express what so many have felt at this time. My sun sets forth, trembling in its warm intensity with hopes to put life into that empty dream. It burns and burns and burns and nothing happens... too much heat? shall I smolder? Should I burn ever brighter with that warmth? A dance, I say, a dance! Forward and backward, to and fro. The epitomy of futility! Douse the sun with water and turn off that damned light! Before it strangles itself into bitterness.

I passed microeconomics, hell yeah! don't have to repeat it a forth time! I rock! lol

Life is a frustration and a joy. Sometimes, even when I'm so happy I could cry, I still feel anxious and sometimes even a bit depressed. Doesn't mean I'm not happy. Just means I'm making some hard decisions left and right. Sometimes what's right for my career isn't what's right for bringing me closer to my family. Growing pains anyone? I'm also battling my misconceptions about certain social no no's. with NO HELP FROM MY EX AND HIS STUPID NESS.

yes, I'm being real grown up on that one.

But it's a drag to try so hard to open your mind and then with one sentence from a near total stranger, all headway is destroyed. bah.

and I just talked about a lot of things and almost nothing in general. whoo.

My breathing is tight as I unendingly hold my breathe. I cannot scarcely believe my eyes as I read the words that bring you closer to me as the growing days and hours pass. If I allow myself to feel too much joy? If I allow the beating of my heart to speed of which mimics the humminbird's wings? If I dare to breathe too deeply, or sigh in relief that is such I feel it in my soul? I know that all would be lost. A strength steals through me, and it leaves me the will to be patient.  I wait for the sign that allows hope to grow and fill me with warmth. I am still, poised, waiting for the flag to fall.

Work:  I keep messing up. *sigh* I've decided to actual aim for being at least 5 minutes early to regular shifts. When I'm on call? I'm staying in the overnight room there at the hospital. I shall not be late to call again. and even if I doze off as I did this morning, the 15 minutes I wasted won't matter because I'm already there (we have 20 minutes ot answer a call in the middle of the night.)

Family: My mom got two more dogs, thinking that I would be taking mine soon. I reminded her that I can only bring my dogs up here IF I find a house to rent that will allow me 3 dogs. This isn't a big town. *rolls eyes* there is the chance I won't be able to take them at all. ya know? my mom is sooooo...spur of the moment and foolish sometimes.

Serena: I'm going to have professionally cremated and put into an urn. That was my mom and I's plan for them ever since they were puppies. When my other 3 babies die, their urns will join Serena's, even though the very imagined image of 4 urns before me beings tears to my eyes even now.

MR. Right now went bye bye. HE had a choice between "Mary Jane" and myself, and can you believe the Jackass picked Mary Jane? It makes me mad and it makes me laugh. How pathetic of him to pick a plant over a living person. Frankly, I'm happy that it's over. I'm a romantic, and being with someone I didn't love actually made me depressed. Even though he's an idiot though, it still leaves my self esteem bleeding just a bit. Even if I didn't want to get serious, it's now TWO guys that have chosen drugs rather than be with me. I can't imagine that I coudl possibly be so terrible so I tell myself when I think about it, that they just must have issues. I already have a mini crush on someone else but... I'm just tired of the dating game right now. I don't want to share my body with someone who won't truly appreciate it other than in the short run. If I could date and not be pressured into sex like I ALWAYS am, than I could deal with that. Guess this means I won't bother with guys till I'm ready to settle down and they are too. bum bum buuuum. *sigh* and that won't be for a while. Wish I had my dogs so I wouldn't be so lonely.

School: is finally over. I may have to repeat Microeconomics...for the 4th time... My problem though is that I want to travel and I need a bachelors to do it.As soon as I make up my mind, I rethink it. Internetional Studies will likely have economics in it and that class seems to stretch my intelligence. Not as badly as math does, but all those equations and graphs with lines and curves throw my head for a whiri and make me feel like I'm in geometry again. And I don't know what college to go to for whatever I DO decide. (The one I go to now is pretty much a 2 year college" In conclusion, math is beyond me, and economics is a mind twister which leaves my options pretty limited >_<
Main things I want to get into, however are: Traveling, politics, real estate, and making the money. I also want to actually write a book somewhere in there too, since it is something I very much enjoy but never make time for. What degree is there for all of that? ^_^"

Tootles for now,
Emily

Perhaps I just want a reason to be miserable. I want something to feel strongly enough about. Perhaps it’s just because it’s been nearly 5 months since we met last. Whatever reason I pick, however, does not stop this ache in my chest and the pathetic tears that trail past like traitors, slow and filled with unease. Feeling as I do, should we meet again… knowing only that that ache will only grow more unbearable in your presence. Time has not healed this wound and the distance has been the only thing to keep the bleeding at bay. Oh why do I love you so, when you feel nothing for me? Am I doomed to play Helena to your Demetrius? Foul heart, if it could be done, I would have cut you out long ago. Rather that, then feel this shameful ache.

Work -
Mistakes here and there but I'm getting better. Gathering up paperwork and working hard because I want to take my Ultrasound Exam next August. I'm ready for an extra 2 bucks an hour but I'm really using it as a step towards being a Traveling Tech so I can get paid absurd amounts of money and live alllllllllllllllllllll over. ^^

Family -
Amazingly enough I got five days off with no cut in hours. I can go see my fam for an early Thanksgiving, tie up some loose ends in Tulsa I've been left hanging, and actually see ALL my friends since I have time to do so.

Car-
Was forced to buy a new car on the 20th of October. My clunker went caput about 3 hours away from home. Timing belt trashed the engine. If you want to check it out, you can see it on my Myspace page of pictures. A Orange Toyota Matrix '09. Terrible car payments but I can swing it and  it IS a relief to have heating, AC, windows that work and aren't broken, both my bumpers, and peace of mind knowing I got road side assistance if the dern thing breaks down on me. Got a 4 year note and didn't need a co signer.

Things-

I finished my kimono !!! and wore it to a halloween party. I did my make up really well, and I'm proud for finally finshing the thing.if you want to see pics, again, turn to my myspace.  I hope to create another one fo rthe Anime Convention next July.

I need to clean but I'm sleepy. I've been so lazy this week. Bah on me!

well, my mind is blank now. Tootles all.

 

A lot of stuff is going on- Personal life changes not major ones anyway.

Work:

Next Tuesday will make it 3 months working there. Every now and then I get this weird feeling like… I’m really here, really an X-ray tech. The job search is over and I’m no longer desperate to find my career. I’m noticing that that feeling is getting further in between however. But I must remember that yes, I may have the job. But that is only half the battle as I have to KEEP the job as well. It’s not like I’ve never been fired before and until I get at least a year of experience, I’m still in the danger zone. If I lose this job, then I’m still down the river without a paddle. I need to keep that in mind and improve my working skills and quality of the images I take. This week I’ve been in a bit of a grumpy mood and I may be taking this out on my co workers. I made it a rule to remain as quiet as I could be yesterday- to keep my mouth shut was a safe bet. I think that due to my complete lack of human interaction at home, however, it is very hard for me to not want to talk to people at work. Too bad I guess, I need to work on becoming more of a serious and quiet but pleasant professional.

School:

I’ve kept up in most of my classes but really need to buckle down this weekend and get ahead. I have some midterm exams to take next week and I fear I let them sneak up on me. Tsk tsk. I CAN work full time and go to school full time, but I have to say I end up with a B- in both categories when doing both at once. I have no one to blame but myself- even with very few friends, I found other things to take up my time: Going green, vegetarian, fixing my bike, visiting the family, and working overtime.

Family:

I miss them a lot, you can only guess. Missing them hasn’t gotten less with time, but just a slight depressed ache. I’d like to say that I’m taking to being completely independent like a vine in full sun- but although I am certainly flourishing in some ways, I am definitely not adjusting in others…

Boyfriend:

To continue that thought, I am terribly lonely. And even things that he does that make me terribly upset I usually ignore and continue on with. Because I have no one else around. He’s a sure bet to want my company and listen to me rattle and play video games with.  He’s leaving in 6 months. This isn’t love, this is a slightly romantic arrangement. This is life. Slightly cynical but true. And even though I angst about it sometimes, I’m ok with the arrangement right now.

Going Green:

I recycle or I try to find another use for that bottle/box/item. Today I took brown glass bottle from work after an exam—they’ll hold the organic lotions I will be creating as Christmas gifts later this year and by taking them, they avoided being thrown in with the rest of the hospitals trash. I’, fixing my bike—it should be done by this weekend. I’ll be riding it instead of driving. This is beneficial is a plethora of ways: by fixing it, it doesn’t go in the dump; by riding it I avoid burning expensive gas; by riding it, I get free exercise (I am hoping to lose a few, as all females do.) I have bought some organic shampoo, conditioner, leave in conditioner, and lotion. People would say they’re expensive but they are actually just as expensive as what I was buying previously. Instead of $8 worth of toxic chemicals in my hair I’ll have $8 worth or tee tree products in it. So for me, that wasn’t a save, but neither was it a more expensive switch. I’m hoping to make my own soaps, lotions, shampoos, and candles in the near future from all natural products I can order in bulk.

Some claim that going green is expensive, but I’m keeping receipts. After a few months, I’ll compile and you’ll hear the results.

Vegetarian:

If I cook at home, it is super easy to be vegetarian. However, there is an absolute lack of any vege fast food alternatives that I would want to eat. (Subway Veggie Delite is about it.) Which leaves me the lunch at the cafeteria at work.

Yeah.

Enough said on THEIR fare.

I have served my vegetarian burgers to: the Bf, the Family, and at a party in my home. I got rave reviews, two of them from “meat is for me” folk who were just open minded to a try. So I can honestly say that those were a success!! And very cheap to make.

Beans, Onions, Season Salt, bread crumbs, flour.

See?

Tootles,

Love you all,

Emily

hello everyone! so long between posts, but I take that I talk long enough when I do post, you're probably glad. haha

OK! Again with the labels.

Work-

So I've worked at the hospital nearly 2 months now. I've been a bit of a work a holic. Why do I say that? well, you can't actually pick up extra shifts but since the Radiology Dept. doesn't have a night shift, they have ppl take turns at being "On Call" every night. Needless to say, I've relieved a lot of people of their extra call.  I can't say my sleeping habits are that great considering they can call me out of bed at any time (and have). But I get $2 an hour just to have the pager in my purse, and when I go into work, I get  roughly $26 an hour. (normal hours I get paid only $17.81) Currently, I'm on day 2 of 5 days of call I just picked up. *laugh* I like the extra money on my paychecks tho. Today I got $1489 as opposed to the suspected $1100 I would otherwise get. I like my job, love my co workers. I think my working too much is getting me a little snappy though... So I'm cutting back after next week. one more Super Paycheck and Emily shall cut back! she is not addicted to working! haha I'm getting Cross Trained in Ultrasound, but I'll talk more on that in the School Section.

School-

Let me state right now that I'm procrastinating by writing this--So I got my books from my mom this previous weekend. I knew I was already behind due to the fact that I got my books a week late-- but dear me! I found out that I had around 6 assignments due-- TOMORROW at 10 pm at the latest I think. I'm a bit frustrated with my Comp class-- it requires Word Office 2007. I abhore that *Improved* program and specifically asked my Father to put 2003 on this laptop when he got it ready for me. Geez, THAT bit me in the ass didn't it ^_^' Also, the book I bought for the class is for Windows XP-- I have Windows Vista. So I am below a grade on the Office package and above grade on the Windows package. To sum it all up, "Screw a duck." as I say. I'm getting pretty interested in the history--not looking forward to trying Economics a THIRD time ( I better pass it this time or I'm cutting off my ears!) And I think "The College Experience." which is a class that gets new students ready for taking college classes while they're in them, is POINTLESS to me-- I've been in College classes for 5 years already. *rolls eyes* And Ultrasound-- I'm doing the best I can. But it's a little hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm learning a modality that Doctors will depend on MY diagnosis. See, apparently most doctors don't have an Effin clue what they are looking at when they look at Ultrasound pictures. (there are exceptions.) So I, the Sonographer, have to circle, measure, put arrows pointing at, and label all organs and pathologies such as cysts, tumors, stones, and other strange objects that may show up in the human body FOR the doctor. So if I miss it?  THEY miss it. That sort of pressure is a bit hard to get used to, and I sort of feel... I don't know. I was never told how much responsibilty that this position I was being trained into was going to have. I don't like it. I'm not out to SAVE lives, I'm just out to make them as comfy as possible while I take uncomfortable pictures of you. Then you're gone in five minutes. ya know? But onwards with life== I shall learn and hopefully become more comfortable with such a heavy position.

Family-

Got to visit the family-- and spent more of the time yelling at my little sisters and cleaning my mom's yard. Geez, it was messy and there were dead potted plants every where because my little sister can't be botherd to water things every day. but more on that in the Garden section. Anyways, I loved going to Tabetha's wedding, and bought her some Cherry Wine as a wedding gift (she's not 21 yet, short by 6 months.) But I had had it in a VERY tasty punch. I'm not encouraging anyone to get drunk on it, but if alcohol actually adds to a flavor of something, I should look at it as just an ingredient. I gave Tabby a good speech of happy wishes and off she went to Jamaica. ^__^  I visited an old classmate, Cat. It was nice to see her again, although I had meant to ask about some other classmates and see how it'd all gone over a year later. I wanted to visit my Ex, Nick, but due to complications, ti never happened. Wanted to visit an elderly lady friend of mine, but plain just ran out of time. so next time! I'll be going again at the end of September. 

Garden--

my vegetable garden was a mess-- I salvaged it a bit, gathered what vegies there were... I was sad. I hadn't left it looking like that. My pride as a gardener was a bit wounded even though it wasn't my fault that it had gone to seed. I had planned on doing some gardening for a fall crop, but between my work load and my school load, I've soothed myself with the idea that I can grow herbs in my window and that the Vermicompost I'm starting this month will give me a lot of wonderful earth to work with next spring. Also, my mother's cactuses managed to get me at every turn-- I'm still battling the red infected bumps on my legs from the cacti spines that I couldnt get with the tweezers. major bummer on that one. But I shall soon someday have the garden of my dreams-- one where I don't have to go to the grocery store for fruits and veggies. ^___^

Boyfriend-

Sad to say, I was beginning to have some serious doubts about my choice. Probably my habit of talking and overthinking every little thing that bothers me to myself-- I think I'm just being a bit over careful. To sum it up with the lyrics from a song by the band Sugarland,

" I've had enough so-so

 For the rest of my life

Tired of shooting too low,

So raise the bar high."

As you all know, I've definately not had a very high bar in the past when it came to boyfriends. I've come to the point that if it isn't "wonderful" then why the hell bother? anyways, so now I'm being picky and I don't really know where being careful and being insane start to cross.

But good news for him! just as I was about to seriously lay on a "talk" he came by unexpectedly and saved the day. Then this morning he surprised me with Yellow roses and a bag of erm... mints as soon as I woke up! As I hadn't recieved roses in almost 3 years, I was not only surprised I was highly impressed at this totally unexpected gift. Amazingly enough, on the 4th of Sept, we;ll have been seeing each other for 2 months. O-o Time passed very quickly.

I'm tired *laugh* I'm gettin off this thing.

Love you all! Send me a message on Myspace as I'm taking myself off of messenger for the rest of the semester.

First of all, did you know there was a contest for the fastest texter? The dude won 50,000 dollars. Amazing and like…so stupid at the same time. There’s one for yo yoing too, but that crap actually takes skill.

Anyways. As always, it’s easier to categorize stuff, then write about it. So here I shall go.

Work

Work is going well. I’ve gotten some reprimands—not terribly serious. And I’ve made some mistakes. But I’m learning. It’s so different to be the Tech and not the Student. I keep having to make the realization again and again—Yes, I’m actually and FINALLY getting paid to take X-rays. It was a long two years of school. An even longer wait between graduation and my first job. But I finally have it, and I’ve now completed my first month of work! *claps for self*

Finances

My paycheck isn’t bad either. Minus all the wonderful taxes the governments both local and federal give us, I made $1148 for 2 weeks. Not as much as I was hoping, but I can keep a roof over my head, pay all my bills, and perhaps really start paying off all those credit cards! I’m not rich, and won’t really have money to spend on anything frivolous for another two months. My big purchase for the month of August is going to be all my school books for the Fall Semester. My big purchase for September will be da da duuuh! A box springs for my mattress so I’ll stop holding up my bed with tubs! After that, I hope to finish getting my apartment together and starting a savings account for a big flat screen—I want to start an Anime club but currently have no TV. And with an aim towards –group- entertainment, I need a pretty large screen. I was wondering if anyone knows anything about a projector system versus a flat screen TV?

Friends

I have made friends, but I’m still searching for a bosom buddy. I may find that in my co worker, Delainey. She’s zaney, and seems to appreciate (be amused at) my more strange characteristics as opposed to just tolerating them. Ya know? She’s a few years older than me. She just bought a house. I don’t really know how to exactly get the ball rolling. Perhaps invite her over for dinner or something. ^_^” I wish I was better at meeting people and relationships with them.

Guys

I’ve gone out with 3 guys here from Kansas. One was terrible, two was cool, three was ok but I really liked number 2 more than the rest. Perhaps because we spoke more before I moved. Perhaps just because he comes off as totally weird/amusing/insane.  The things he does makes me laugh so hard, I just wanna hug him. I took a photo of him, he’s in the “family” section of my pictures. I thought making a photo album devoted to just him sounded a bit…weird… He’s really sweet, really laid back. Quiet and very intelligent, we have pretty interesting conversations sometimes. What I like most about him is the absolute lack of pressure to be anything more than what we are: Two people, hanging out, chillin, spending time together playing video games, or going out for a round of bad (on my part) tennis. He recently won some major brownie points. See, he spent the night and while I lay sleeping, he kept on eye on my phone in case work called for me to come in. but that wasn’t the best part. He washed my dishes and wiped my counters down. Can you imagine? I can’t imagine it, I haven’t had a bf clean anything… in years? And without asking? KUDOS

Family

My family came by for a visit. Brought me a desk and some parts for my bed that I’d been missing. Brought me some free food from the Indians. (I’m part Cherokee, if you’re poor enough, they give you free food.) And then they actually SURPRISED me with a cake party this Monday evening. They snuck it up on me, didn’t even know they were going to be home. You can see the pictures from that, I uploaded them. I really miss them. Liked having them over, and already look forward to my drive down to Oklahoma to see old friends and see my family.

Gardening

There are two plantings to a year, if the place you live in is warm. I want to grow perhaps, two gardens for this late fall harvest. I’ll have to ask Molly (my sister) if she wants to continue growing for a few more months, or let out hot loving vegetable plants die off after their final harvest.  I’ve gotten a green bell pepper, a couple of tomatoes, and a few ears of baby corn out of the garden I left behind so far.  Possibilities for this later planting are: carrots, peas, lettuce, radishes, spinach, and broccoli.  I’m visiting later this month, as I mentioned before, so I’m going to take pictures then of the mess of a garden I left behind.

Cooking and Vegetarianism

So I’ve been talking and talking about vegetarianism. And I meant to start last Friday—but then my mom brings some commodities, half of which consist of ham and beef. Since I already have it, I guess I’ll use it, but I’m no longer going to buy meat products. After what I have is gone, it’s gone. I tried out a recipe yesterday, “chicken” and mushroom quesadillas. The Chicken was actually a soy/wheat product from Morningstar Farms: a brand that creates vegetarian versions of the American faves, like chicken strips and hamburgers—veggie style. I made 6 quesadillas from the package, priced at, I think, $2.97 at Wal mart? Not bad, probably about the same price in weight as compared to an actual chicken breast. Taste was fine. The recipe calls for crisping it in oil and I noticed no difference from whether it had been real or fake.  I’d been eating meatless spaghetti for the longest time before my fam came over? Made them a meat filled version—and it was not gross per se, but I can honestly say I’ve lost my liking for it. If anyone wants the recipe, I can message it to you. I’m mostly thinking of Meredith in this, as she thinks about health a lot, and I remember her switching all her white flour products to wheat.

School

School is starting soon! I’m wondering how I’ll carry it this semester. Upped the amount of classes to a whopping FIVE. Also, I’m getting cross trained in Ultrasound at work, and the Tech there that is training me is assigning me readings to read, learn, and test over. So, in the end, I’ve got 6 classes to look forward to over this semester. I’m SO glad so I only have to work 40 hours. I got a boyfriend, but I only see him on weekends, so he won’t be a distraction. And my family, although I love them, won’t be making demands of me either. I shall succeed! I just have to apply myself a little bit more than I have been.

So I guess that’s my update. Love you all!

tootles